Not The Same
Whirlwinds of strength
And courage are twisted
Into the only blind horizon
Of what is known as
Jealousy and betrayal.
Men who were once loved
Are now hated for having
A place to sleep.
Cayuse in every direction.
Army planes saving the ones
Staring death in the face.
Why not take me.
Rescuers working
All around me
50 to 100 people died over night.
Death was here,
But he spared me.
With no regret
He is letting me suffer.
Administrator said,
November 7, 2005 @ 5:50 pm
I’m looking for focus in poems, details, and a personal voice.
Your poem needs focus. I’m not sure what it is about. I’m guessing hurricane Katrina?
You have powerful emotional details, but few physical ones.
These words don’t sound like they are your voice. There is no “I” in this poem.