The BEST Birthday Present Ever
“This is the BEST present EVER dad!”
It was my 12th Birthday and my dad got me my dream jacket, a north face.
My new black jacket was the coolest thing I owned.
Once I stepped foot out of R.E.I., that coat was my second skin.
I didn’t go ANYWHERE with out it.
It smelled like new car….the reason for that, I don’t know why!
I still love my north face jacket, it’s a part of me.
I would most defiantly say that was the best Birthday present ever!
…• ´¨¨)) -:¦:-
¸.•´ .•´¨¨))
((¸¸.•´ ..•´ -:¦:-
-:¦:- (( °º °
“(¨`v´¨)::” °..••..*.. •• ..°
*..•°-:¦:- `v´* The End*-:¦:- °•..* * °.. •• ..*.. •• ..° *
-:¦:- * °.. •• ..*.. •• .:.° * -:¦:-
–Fred
Administrator said,
November 13, 2005 @ 4:59 pm
I’m looking for focus, details, and a personal voice in poems.
You have focus on your jacket.
You’ve got details. Smell is a good detail to use in poems.
You left me curious about how you might change if you took it off or put it on.
The sparkly things don’t do anything for the poem. If they were in the shape of a jacket, I’d feel differently.