Comments on: Burning Beneath the Surface. http://room132.com/2005/10/30/4-poems/ A collaborative blog experiment from room 132. Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:53:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5 By: Administrator http://room132.com/2005/10/30/4-poems/#comment-125 Administrator Mon, 14 Nov 2005 00:30:06 +0000 http://room132.com/index.php/2005/10/30/4-poems/#comment-125 I’m looking for focus, details, and a personal voice in poems. It took me a second to figure out what you poem was about because I didn't know what a "polis" was... I think you mean polish right? Your poem has details. Your poem has emotion and voice, but it leaves me hanging. Are you unsteadily and drifting? Or is it the polish, or did you intend to leave me guessing? I’m looking for focus, details, and a personal voice in poems.

It took me a second to figure out what you poem was about because I didn’t know what a “polis” was… I think you mean polish right?

Your poem has details.

Your poem has emotion and voice, but it leaves me hanging. Are you unsteadily and drifting? Or is it the polish, or did you intend to leave me guessing?

]]> By: The Punisher http://room132.com/2005/10/30/4-poems/#comment-107 The Punisher Mon, 31 Oct 2005 07:07:57 +0000 http://room132.com/index.php/2005/10/30/4-poems/#comment-107 alright poetry nice details alright poetry nice details

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